Am I crazy!?

Hello my darlings,

Today’s post is one that is a little different than my normal posts. Consider this post to be like a ranting post as well as a look into the crazy stress I am going through at the moment. Part of the reason I created this blog was to have a space where I could share my thoughts with anyone who will listen in hopes that maybe someone out there can learn from what I am going through. So if you want to learn more, keep on reading.

So, as some of you know, my fiance and I are attempting to get married and buy a house in the same year. Our wedding is 45 days away today (omg!) and though I am so excited to finally be married, there is still a ton of stuff left to do and pay for before our Wedding day. Wedding planning is stressful enough, especially when you aren’t getting a lot of financial help from your family. Adding the stress of trying to buy a home at the same time, well, you can imagine how much stress that would put on a young couple. Now I know some of you by this point are thinking we are crazy and wondering why on earth we would try to do this. Well, our living situation at the moment also adds a ton of stress. Right now, we live with his mom, brother and sister and to say things are cramped is an understatement. All of our stuff is in his room so no matter how much I try to keep things organized, the room always winds up being a mess. I also have no space of my own so even when I find a moment that I can relax, it never ends up being that way because there is always someone around.

On top of the space and privacy issue, Tom and I are trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle. I want both of us to start eating better but when you live with a family who doesn’t share the same outlook, it’s almost impossible to guarantee we will be eating a healthy meal or even a meal that I can eat. With my stomach issues, I need to be careful of what foods and spices I consume but often his brother doesn’t take this into consideration when he is making dinner. Having our own place would guarantee that the food we consume is food that is both healthy and not going to harm me.

Now I know some of you are thinking,”Well why jump to a house, can’t you rent?”. Any animal owner would know, renting is not easy. Tom and I have two dogs, one being a pit bull. Even if we could find an apartment that would take us all in, the cost would be even more a month than our mortgage payment would be. I’m not spending all that money on a place that isn’t mine when I can spend less and actually be owning a home. The problem though is, can we afford it?

Well the short answer is yes. But if it was that easy, I wouldn’t be making a blog post right now to relieve my stress. Tom and I were pre-approved for 200k. After a few months, we wound up finding a home that though needs some cosmetic work, I can truly see us starting our life in. The home itself is huge and the fact that we were able to get our offer of 193k approved when they wanted to sell it for $199,999, I also thought was an amazing thing. So everything is great right? Well, it would be if Toms job situation became what it was supposed to. At this time, both Tom and I work at our local college. Unfortunately, come November 21st, my job will come to an end here because it is only a temporary position. Tom on the other hand, has a permanent position that pays really well…but right now it is only part time. For weeks now, he has been told they are trying to make him full time, yet it still has not happened. Tom and I know we will probably get approved for the USDA loan for our new home with me having a full time income at this time and him having a part time income. However, come November 21st, he has to be full time or we are basically screwed.

This is where my dilemma is. I know either way, I am going to be stressed. This is just the hole I put ourselves in by deciding to get married a year after getting engaged but in my heart, I don’t feel like we are making a mistake. So many people think we are crazy, so many people are just waiting for us to fail but I know in my heart that we aren’t going to fail. Yes, it’s going to be hard. There are going to be moments where I believe I made a mistake but staying in the living situation we are in now after we are married is an option that I just can’t be on board with. I know in my heart everything will work out with Toms job and that something big will happen for me when it comes to getting a job I can actually enjoy. My ideal job is one from home. I would love to become so successful with this blog that I can start making money from it. Another plus of getting a home is I would finally have a place to create Youtube videos and set up my photography studio. I also would be able to dive into my Thirty-one business more because I would have room to display my bags and even create videos for that. I guess, when I really look at it, the pros of doing this highly outweigh the cons. So what is the message of this large post, because of course I need to have at least some sort of message. Well, the message is simply to follow your heart and don’t let others discourage you from doing something you really want to do. Like I said, many people are against us on this and I can’t help but think of how accomplished I will feel holding the keys to my new house as a newlywed 22 year old. I know I still have a long road ahead of me but I also know that Tom and I are strong enough to get through this together and that the pay off is going to be well worth it.

Well thank you guys for joining me while I tried to unscramble the mess within my mind. I’m not lying when I say this really did help put things into perspective for me. But I also want to hear from you! Has anyone here gone through something crazy like this? How did you make your decision? Or has anyone ever doubted your ability to do something and you proved them wrong? Or do you just have any other advice for me at this time? If so, drop a comment down below! If you are interested in hearing how this all plays out, don’t forget to follow me to get updates of when I post because I do plan on keeping you all updated every step of the way!

Until next time,

Kaylee D. ❤

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Chronically Kaylee

Welcome to my lifestyle blog centered around living your life with chronic and mental illness💜 Wifey since 10/28/18💙 Lupus & Fibromyalgia fighter🦋 Anxiety & Borderline Personality Disorder warrior Handler to service floof in training Blue "Don't be ashamed of your story, for it has the power to inspire others"

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