Roller Coaster

Roller coaster


Like a roller coaster out of control is how she felt

The highs were amazing but she knew the lows soon would be dealt

When she was up, she swears she can fly

But soon she’d crash back down and just start to cry

It was a vicious cycle she suffered through again and again

A cycle she knew would never end

No matter how much she wished the high would stay

She knew the sadness would soon take it all away

At any moment the smile on her face could fade

Leaving her alone, confused, and afraid

No one seemed to understand how her moods could switch so fast

Even she didn’t get why the happiness just couldn’t last

When she was high, she felt the most like herself

But when she was low, she desperately cried out for help

For the lows were the worst and would break her down

Leaving her curled up crying on the ground

Leaving her feeling like her life had no meaning

Leaving her just sitting there screaming

Screaming for the pain to just go away

Begging the voices in her head to stop saying the cruel things they say

The longing to harm, the longing to die

These were the thoughts that made her cry

For she never knew when the high she loved would return

All she knew was how everyone was now concerned

Concerned because the girl they loved wasn’t herself

Confused that she was fine yesterday but now yelling for help

How could someone who had all the energy in the world the day before

Today be this depressed zombie lying on the floor

For you see, when she was high she was the happiest she could be

Loving life and smiling for all to see

Dancing, singing, jumping around

Not a drop of sadness in her could be found

When she was high, she was daring and more confident than ever before

And she was excited for what each new day had in store

Sadly though, she knew this feeling wouldn’t last

She knew this happiness and increased energy would soon be in the past

Soon the highs began to be something she feared as well

For she knew after heaven, she’d be plunged back into hell

She found herself not being able to enjoy the highs like she always had

Because she feared that her life would soon be nothing but bad

A constant torture, a constant battle that never ends

A constant longing to be like her friends

To just be normal and able to live her life

To not have to deal with the constant strife

Oh won’t someone please make this roller coaster stop

And just leave her to be happy left at the top


Published by

Chronically Kaylee

Welcome to my lifestyle blog centered around living your life with chronic and mental illness💜 Wifey since 10/28/18💙 Lupus & Fibromyalgia fighter🦋 Anxiety & Borderline Personality Disorder warrior Handler to service floof in training Blue "Don't be ashamed of your story, for it has the power to inspire others"

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